Alain de botton status anxiety

Status Anxiety

“There's no writer alive like de Botton” (Chicago Tribune), and now this internationally heralded author turns his attention to the insatiable human quest for status—a quest that has less to do with material comfort than love.

Anyone who’s ever lost sleep over an unreturned phone call or the neighbor’s Lexus had better read Alain de Botton’s irresistibly clear-headed new book, immediately. For in its pages, a master explicator of our civilization and its discontents explores the notion that our pursuit of status is actually a pursuit of love, ranging through Western history and thought from St. Augustine to Andrew Carnegie and Machiavelli to Anthony Robbins.

Whether it’s assessing the class-consciousness of Christianity or the convulsions of consumer capitalism, dueling or home-furnishing, Status Anxiety is infallibly entertaining. And when it examines the virtues of informed misanthropy, art appreciation, or walking a lobster on a leash, it is not only wise but helpful.

Status Anxiety

January 19,
"Status Anxiety" by Alain De Botton is a sparkly book that, for the most part, I enjoyed immensely. However, like other readers, I have some problems with it.

First, a gentle reminder to everyone who approaches a "philosophical" book like this one: all this rationalizing of reality can be helpful sometimes, but it is often overestimated, especially by academics. Even though it should be obvious, people tend to forget that reality stays exactly the same, with or without philosophical analysis. The immense respect that our society gives to the rich and "officially successful" doesn't change an inch. After philosophizing, you tend to feel like you have set the world straight, you have changed it for the better, or at least you feel like you can change it. However, philosophy achieves little more than providing perspective, or what could be with low-brow terminology described as "shooting the shit" - especially a certain dominant strain of philosophy that limits itself to a left-brain worldview, a rationalistic one.

The book can be summarized as follows: we are all anxious about our sense of status in the world. Today's problem is our egalitarianism

Status anxiety

"Every adult life could be said to be defined by two great love stories. The first--the story of our quest for sexual love--is well known and well charted. . . . The second--the story of our quest for love from the world--is a more secret and shameful tale. And yet this second love story is no less intense than the first."This is a book about an almost universal anxiety that rarely gets mentioned directly: an anxiety about what others think of us, about whether we're judged a success or a failure, a winner or a loser. This is a book about status de Botton, best-selling author of The Consolations of Philosophy and The Art of Travel, asks--with lucidity and charm--where our worries about status come from and what, if anything, we can do to surmount them. With the help of philosophers, artists and writers, he examines the origins of status anxiety (ranging from the consequences of the French Revolution to our secret dismay at the success of our friends) before revealing ingenious ways in which people have been able to overcome their worries in the search for happiness. We learn about sandal-less philosophers and topless bohemians, about the benefits of putting skull

1. Status anxiety stems from our need for love and recognition

We seem beholden to the affections of others to endure ourselves.

Fundamental human need. Status anxiety arises from our deep-seated desire for love, respect, and recognition from others. This need is so ingrained that we often allow others' opinions to shape our self-worth and identity.

Societal validation. In modern society, our sense of value is heavily influenced by external factors such as wealth, career success, and social standing. We constantly seek approval and validation from our peers, colleagues, and even strangers, believing that their positive regard is necessary for our own self-esteem.

Psychological impact. The fear of being judged negatively or deemed unworthy can lead to:

  • Constant comparison with others
  • Feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth
  • Anxiety about social interactions and public perception
  • Pursuit of status symbols and material possessions to boost perceived value

2. Modern expectations fuel our dissatisfaction with life

Different societies have awarded status to different groups: hunters, fighters, ancient families, priests, knights, fecund women. Increasingly since ,


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